ABC late night host Jimmy Kimmel told the upfront crowd, "If this were high school, NBC would be the rich kid whose dad bought them a BMW. CBS would be the straight-A student who's going to Stanford. Fox would be the jock who's not too smart, but still gets the chicks.
"And we're [ABC] the fat kids who eat paste."
I guess that the WB would be the pastor's kid making out in a car in the parking lot. UPN would be, what, the AV Geek?