Friday, August 06, 2004

Fall Fashion Forecast: Ugh!

Well, Autumn 2004 looks like the season of the truly hideous handbag!

If you feel like dropping the equivalent of a house payment - or two - on a hot new accessory to update your look this Fall, designers have created some of the ugliest monstrosities ever stitched up out of animal hide.

There seems to be no end to the revolting options available this season. Bottega Veneta's are really ugly. Dior's have the same nasty brown and tan logo design as always but with these odd green, yellow and reddish stripes for trim.

By far, the biggest accessory trend splashed all over the pages of Bazaar is the hanging of doo-dads from the bag. Designers are selling stuff like huge golden dice and little robots to personalise your look.

These doo-dads were featured as handbag decoration, hung like pendants and worn dangling like charms from furs in a manner very reminiscent of the toys kids hang from their parkas and backpacks but much more expensive. Some of them look like those woven bead lizards that kids make, except made from much more expensive beads.

What I got from this issue of Bazaar is that, while designers have not yet run out of fresh ideas, they are putting them together in the ugliest ways possible. And, the more expensive the bag, the uglier the damn thing is!

I suppose that the status-y part of the status accessory biz is that a woman will shell out a fortune for the most fashionably ugly bag as an outward sign of how much money she has to waste. Because the bags will look dated so quickly that there is no way on earth that she'd be caught dead with the same bag a year from now!

Next year, these scary-bad bags will probably show up in the upscale resale shops....alongside the fur-trimmed, high-heeled booties that look like the ones that Phyllis Diller used to wear. And the strappy sandals with fur trim or horsehair ponytails that are also fresh this season.

You gotta wonder.